5 reasons we are making the Coronavirus worse and 5 ways we can sto
OK, this Coronavirus stuff stinks….more than enough!!
Now, let’s stop being part of the problem and start being part of the solution.
March 17, 2020
I have my thoughts about what it’s like shop at our local Walmart’s, Costco’s, Sams Clubs, etc. currently and what it’s like to scroll through my social media feeds and see people fighting or making fun of each other. Trust me. I am with you, human behavior is quite interesting lately!
Given the feelings expressed by many of my clients, toppled with the feels I get when reading my social media feeds: I felt like it was a great time to brush up on anxiety and human behavior in particular 🤷🏻♀️
I then felt compelled (because I do understand both sides so well) to share this knowledge and offer any help I possibly can by sharing it.
My hope is that we can support each other and respond to this already very “stinky” time a little better than we are currently?
‘Merica!
Oh and please people just stay home if you can! The quicker we listen and exercise better judgement, the quicker this will all be over;)
Let’s stick together and support one another!
1. Hoarding toilet paper-
Well we all know how running out of toilet paper makes things worse, or even the fear of such a thing.
Why is this happening you ask?
It’s simple really (but also the longest explanation ever, haha)- During times of crisis or uneasy situations our fear amygdala is activated (if you try to say no part of this has made you a tad nervous, or that you have not checked your TP supply, I call BS- SORRY?!). When this is activated it, “…leads to bodily changes that prepare us to be more efficient in a danger.” https://health.clevelandclinic.org/what-happens-to-your-body-during-the-fight-or-flight-response/ .
Throw in the fact that are amygdala gets activated even when we see someone who looks scared. The difference is when we see the person is OK or realize we are not personally in danger, our thinking brain kicks in and our body releases the appropriate chemicals to relax us.
Think in terms of a haunted house, our amygdala is activated over and over, but most are able to “check it” because we know we are in a safe environment- I mean…we asked for this! For those who stay in a heightened state of arousal, they are at the least able to do so once the experience is over. When we are not able to “check” our fear amygdala ( i.e. at times when we do not know what the out come is, like with the Corona-virus outbreak), it stays activated and our bodies are preparing to take on the threat , better known as our “fight or flight response.
Psychologist Carolyn Fisher, PhD. explains (www.health.clevelandclinic.org):
The fight or flight response, or stress response, is triggered by a release of hormones either prompting us to stay and fight or run away and flee. During the response, all bodily systems are working to keep us alive in what we’ve perceived as a dangerous situation……Without you even telling it what to do, your body is assessing what’s going on around you and determining your options on how you most likely could survive the event.
This means situations in which we do not know what will happen, we stay in this fight or flight response- preparing for (you-guessed it!), the worst case scenario. With one fear being of mandated quarantines, running out of essentials is even more frightening to many. Couple this with feeling as if so much of this out of our control, stock-piling supplies is an aspect that we can control-providing some comfort and reassurance (releasing those relaxant chemicals we need to counter being in fight or flight).
Side note: Don’t forget those people who have trauma, PTSD, anxiety, etc. Their's can be hypersensitive, leading to being triggered more easily and/or their body responding more aggressively and quickly to the threat.
How to help:
Stop judging and mocking each other! Again, I see both sides and I am frustrated just like a lot of you are. My question to you is, what is the goal here? To make this already very hard time, a little less hard, right?? Well, this is 100% counterproductive to that goal. If you see or are around people stockpiling or appear to be on edge: think about what I said above and what is likely going on in their worlds.
Help them to release those feel good chemicals! Crack a joke, distract them, offer assistance or just be kind to them! If it is a family member or friend, maybe take it a step further and push them to get outside and take a walk with you or watch a funny movie.
Encourage people to get educated- on legitimate, factual information! Maybe discuss the worst case scenario (i.e. mandated quarantines)- but in a productive way and briefly. Maybe develop a plan (maybe have enough toilet paper, food, etc. for 2 maybe 3 weeks). Provide reassurance that these shut downs and restrictions are occurring to get a grip on this thing and to help protect us, not a sign of the end of mankind as we know it.
Finally, please encourage your local supermarkets to block off hours of operation or pick up and delivery times for our elderly. Also, check with any elderly or vulnerable neighbors to see if they need anything (let’s collectively try to limit their exposure the best we can)
2. Watching non-stop coverage-
In all seriousness, just stop! I get it…..I’m guilty of it myself, but it is not healthy. This is the same scenario with our amygdala being in overdrive, which not only is unpleasant, but it can be detrimental to our health. “Living in a prolonged state of high alert and stress (when there isn’t any real reason for it) can be detrimental to your physical and mental health”, www.health.clevelandclinic.org. Now, this does not dismiss the severity of what is going on, it just simply points out the detriment to continually choose to focus on it.
How to help:
First, choose a trusted media outlet or two to receive updates from, maybe even just the news alerts? Second, if you or someone you love is constantly watching the news coverage, distraction is necessary. Specifically, a healthy distraction will start to produce the necessary chemicals such as GABA- (full name, Gamma-Aminobutyric acid) we need in order to relax.
GABA’s big role in the body is to reduce the activity of neurons in the brain and central nervous system, which in turn has a broad range of effects on the body and mind, including increased relaxation, reduced stress, a more calm, balanced mood, alleviation of pain, and a boost to sleep. Our bodies need those relaxant chemicals to counter the constant state of arousal. Understanding GABA by Dr. Michael Breus
To read more about GABA and how to increase it naturally follow link: https://thesleepdoctor.com/2018/06/19/understanding-gaba/
We can also do simple things ourselves to trick our bodies into thinking we are not in imminent danger such as: eating, chewing gum, forcing ourselves to laugh or smile, etc. I know it seems weird, but think about it: would you be doing any of the above if you were faced with a tiger or were in a fire? Probably not, therefore you’re sending your body the message that you are currently safe.
Side note- Is the media causing this mass hysteria? Are they purposely attempting to scare the crap out of us? Maybe?! I guess we’ll never know! (I personally think they’re probably trying to educate us and maybe a little bit is them running stories that people will watch? It is a business just like any other.)
Fortunately, we have this amazing power as adults…..what’s that?? WE CAN SHUT IT OFF! Or even walk away! Crazy, I know!
3. Reading social media for hours-
Why is this bad? Well… see above for number 2! Not to mention when we are in a state of fear or arousal we begin to look for those things to validate our feelings- which means we are likely to focus on those types of posts or stories, reactivating our amygdala and justifying our fears even further. This can also lead to anger and aggression because so many sit behind their computer screens making this their evil goal (they are for another blog though).
How to help:
Limit exposure or ideally stop all together for awhile! If you want to post, try to be positive- share words of encouragement, offer help where you can, spread only factual information and share those babies, funny dog/cat videos and those videos of people singing in Italy, please!!
4. Overwhelming our medical professionals-
OK, these are scary times, and I get it, but these individuals are the ones we need most right now.
I have heard several inferences comparing this to “war-like times”, and this started to make me feel a certain way.
Especially just coming back from a trip to Pearl Harbor, seeing America come together and listening to those veterans talk about the good they saw in people during that time. Just…WOW :)
If we look at this crisis as so, who are on our front lines of defense? Those working in the medical field! Sadly, instead of supporting them it feels as though we are putting them at an unfair disadvantage. They are being overworked, being asked questions constantly, stressing about child care, treating people who could have waited and are the ones who have the most exposure to this virus! They should be resting and preparing in case things get worse! Would we be doing this to our troops right before we send them off to war? I sure hope not.
How to help:
Only seek necessary medical attention right now. Check on your friends, neighbors, etc. that are in the medical field. Offer babysitting, food, grass cutting, groceries, anything you can (if you are not sick)! Stop hoarding masks and other medical supplies. Be kind and patient with them. Give these people the best shot possible at fighting this thing.
5. Freaking our kids out/or freaking out on them-
I will start this by saying that after counseling children for some time now, we tell our kids way too much and talk way too openly in front of them! Problem is, when children hear adult like problems, their fear amygdala is activated. Unfortunately, they do not have the tools nor the life experience to figure those issues out, therefore preparing their little minds for worst case scenario (we all know where this goes). Also, even if they have heard very little; odds are they are still feeling a little uneasy. These are times they will look to trusted adults for reassurance and comfort, if we are tense, watching nothing else or yelling and screaming at them; they are going feed off of this energy.
How to help:
Find out what your children actually know! Then educate them and clear up any misinformation you might hear. Probe a little to find out what/if any fears they may have and talk them through those. Most importantly allow them to enjoy being children! They will then hopefully remember this time not as being horrible and scary, instead a time they saw their parents or guardians step up and make light of a bad situation (great opportunity for a life lesson if you ask me). If your children are testing your patience (especially the little ones) try these tips:
Be a little forgiving with permitted television/video game time.
Ensure their brains are being stimulated and more importantly challenged!
Ensure they are participating in some type of physical activity every day.
Being fed nourishing meals daily.
Make sure they are keeping up on schoolwork.
Try giving them your undivided attention (no phone, no distractions!) for a set amount of time, while helping them to understand there are times for play and times for adult things.
Side note: when kids are seeking attention, there is more times than not a reason and it is usually that they feel that need is not being full-filled (even if you disagree, these are their feelings and they are allowed to have them, sorry?!)
Create structure the best you can.
The structure kids receive in school or daycare is important and even though they will probably never admit it, kids seek structure and it is crucial for healthy growth and development.
Teach them those life skills they will all need one day and do them together! Cooking, laundry, finances, yard work, etc.
Laugh and have fun together!
Let’s remind everyone of all the good in this world and use this time for self-care and bonding with family! Do not let future concerns crowd your mind; we do not know what will happen! Just take one day at a time and focus most on those things you can control. This too shall pass….
Helpful Resources:
Adult only humor ;)
The truth about addiction and how do we prevent our it from happenin
This topic is something I’ve wanted to talk about for some time. I’ve not only had very personal experiences in dealing with this topic, but now have quite a bit of professional experience and education as well.
In discussing why individuals turn to drugs and alcohol, I struggle with the theories that are out there currently; probably why I felt so passionately about developing an educated, informed, well-versed, opinion on the topic myself. Full transparency- I’ve held several assumptions and thoughts that I have felt strongly about, my experiences have debunked those now.
I will start by saying the disease model of alcoholism and drug addiction may be researched based and taught from by many professionals in the field, it has just always felt very favorable to a “victim mentality” to me. If an addict looks at their addiction purely as a disease, the feeling they can’t change it has to sneak into their brain and hinder sobriety efforts.
When I think of a disease, I think of something that we do not choose for ourselves, something out of our control almost. I could never come up with a good response to “O.K., if it truly is a disease, what about the fact that the first drink or drug is (most times) a conscious decision on our part?”
If we have this disease or know we have a genetic predisposition for it, why ever test fate?? I wondered about this quite frequently myself...
I then really began struggling with the disease model, during experiences and encounters with Alcoholics/Narcotics Anonymous more than anything. I will start by saying they are a phenomenal group and work wonders for so many people, and heck, no one in the field can hold a candle to their success rate with this population, so please don’t think I am bashing these organizations. They do great work!! I just believe we can do better, especially in terms of prevention.
Working in the jail as a corrections officer opened my eyes to the fact that drug addiction and alcoholism does not discriminate. People from all walks of life, even with the most strict upbringings, loving households, are still struggling with these demons.
Working on the treatment side of things after a promotion; frankly I was appalled at our system and attempts in place to “help” these individuals. (Disclaimer, I have been out of the jail awhile, so things may have improved, but sadly, I am not very optimistic).
I watched 18-21 year “kids” withdrawal from heroin, opiates, alcohol, crack, you name it. After they were detoxed, they were then given the option to attend AA meetings a couple times a week and that is about it. That was their treatment.
I could go on for years about this topic and the lack of resources available, or the fact that you will be held accountable and obtain resources- but only if you commit a felony and meet the criteria for drug court! Like what?! Hey stop committing petty shoplifting and soliciting crimes, and burglarize something and we will help you? Ridiculously stupid if you ask me
Anyway, these kids would sit in these meetings, many times excited about their sobriety (even if it was hell getting there, and against their will). To then hear abstinence is the only option from here on out, that means no more marijuana, not a sip more of alcohol (even though you may not even have reached the legal drinking age). This seemed like a great idea and plan in theory, but didn’t seem realistic to me. My theory never failed unfortunately, as those doors became revolving for so many of those “kids”.
I then got interested in really focusing on treatment ,being a part of the solution and pursued my Masters in Counseling. I never planned to pursue the addiction track or work with addicts, as I don’t have the stomach to deal with the small success rates. I personally care too much about my clients becoming success stories, it’s a perfection thing (I am working on haha). My interest on the topic has never diminished though, always pondering what the answers really are.
I still do not have the answers, nor do I think I will personally come up with them in this lifetime, but I do think I can provide some understanding.
I think the underlying common denominators in those individuals suffering with addiction, is the fact that they are self medicating. They are suffering from mental illnesses, circumstantial depression, loss, lack of self worth, failed relationships, family problems, etc. and in turn using the drug or alcohol as treatment, but the underlying cause is what needs to be treated!
When asking addicts why they first chose to pick up a drug or drink; I have heard an overwhelming response that they don’t know or they just wanted to feel “different”.
Feel different from how they were feeling in that moment.
Whether they wanted to numb their pain, have more energy, have more fun during a night out, clean the house, they are wanting to feel differently. I always thought this was a lame excuse and way too vague, until I pursued my education, now it makes perfect sense.
We are taught as therapists that anger is a secondary emotion, meaning another emotion is causing it. Anger should not be judged, responded to, or reacted from....whatever is causing it needs to be addressed first. I think this is how we should look at addiction.
I want to add that although this puts a lot of responsibility and accountability on the addict, drugs and alcohol are not innocent! Many of these drugs out there today are truly full of addictive properties and the body becomes physically dependent on them, so medical intervention may be necessary (especially when dealing with alcohol and benzodiazepines). Genetics also plays a huge part, but that’s for another blog!
I would love to blog more, possibly hold groups at my practice about improving prevention efforts and effective treatments. I am especially passionate about how to educate our children and what we should tell them to help stop this epidemic.
Please message me or leave comments about what you are interested in hearing more about, or what you think we as a society could benefit from. I would love to hear!
What we’re doing is not working, and I am fearful for the future, especially having children at very impressionable ages. So let’s do something different!