Are you scared of COVID-19? We all are. Expert tips on how to reduce fear and get through this difficult time.
The world has changed, people are dying, some scared to leave their homes or to bring this horrible virus home to their families.
These are scary times, there is no denying that.
So, can we really do anything to counter the fear we are all experiencing, when the threat is so real?
Yes!
I tell my clients all the time that we may not be able to control our pain, but we can control our suffering. The corona-virus pandemic is a perfect example of this. COVID-19 is here and we unfortunately cannot change that, but we can change how much suffering it causes us while it is.
Stress, for instance, is a subjective thing. Unless we are talking about physical strain, stress is typically induced by our thoughts about what is happening. It isn't the actual event itself that incurs the feeling of stress. It is our thinking behind it that does.
-Christine Louise Hohlbaum. The Benefits of Fear
How do we limit our stress and suffering during a pandemic that is so scary and real?
First, we should not push the thoughts or fears aside or shame ourselves when we experience them. Instead, we should acknowledge those thoughts and process the feelings associated with them. This should be done carefully though and at the appropriate time.
What I mean by this is we should take time to dissect what we are scared of, but only those “real” observable/factual things (preferably the fears related to the present moment).
I know this sounds difficult, but it is possible- with practice!
I am not suggesting you dismiss future concerns like how you will be paying your bills or ignore the concern of job security and the future. I am asking that we do not stay stuck on them. Unfortunately, for many these things are unknown and/or out of our control.
Those events or situations in which we do not know the outcome, cause our brains to story tell. Unfortunately, the worst case scenario is usually the story it favors. Our brains then tell our bodies to start preparing for that threat. My thought is: what if those things we are preparing for and facing never come to fruition? Facing those things are not going to be pleasant, so why do it if we do not have to?
“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown”. ― H. P. Lovecraft
In regards to the “appropriate time” to process fear, this is simply when we are in the best emotional state to be able to. If we are in a state of heightened arousal, we are likely in our “emotional mind”, which is not ideal for decision making or thought processing.
Ideally, we need to have an equal balance of both our “rational and emotional minds” aka our “wise mind” (the mere foundation of Dialectal Behavioral Therapy; one of my favorite theoretical approaches).
“When there’s so much confusion and change around you to consider, you’re often at the mercy of negative emotions — decisions need to be held off until your emotions are interfering less with your mind and until you have more mental clarity. ”
Wanting to prepare for what we are up against is natural and provides us comfort in chaos, but can be counterproductive if we are responding from fear or solely emotions.
Ways to help:
Please remember to give your mind “breaks” and find ways to produce those relaxant chemicals we all so desperately need right now. Here are some natural ways to help us do so:
Exercise (even for 10 minutes)
Sit outside
Complete a project
Watch a funny video, show or movie
Color or paint
Call an old friend or family member (catching up and feeling connected are great ways to increase Dopamine naturally)
Organize your kitchen or pantry
Read
Play cards or a board game/ start a puzzle
Volunteer or help someone in your neighborhood
Organize your financials
Educate yourself on something you always wished you knew more about
Finally, if you find yourself in a high state of prolonged arousal/fear, this more than likely is not the time to attempt these coping skills. When our anxiety is at a level of “9 or 10” there are very few things that can help.
Fortunately, there are things you can do though!
I often recommend clients practice TIPP skills (another great tool from DBT).
TIPP is an acronym that stands for the following four steps: temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, progressive muscle relaxation.
-Dialectalbehavioraltherapy.com
The TIPP skills are great to utilize in times like these and with practice are very simple to do.
To read more about these follow this link : https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/tipp/
Stay safe and please take advantage of this rare time we get to take care of ourselves and each other!
If anyone would like hear more about a specific topic or has questions, please reach out on my contact page!